Day 27.5: Aunt Marcia.

So I'm still saddened by the death of my Aunt Marcia. I know her death was a blessing for her in a way, but still, I'm saddened. I 've not always been able to put the right emotion with an event, but after much work at the VA I'm better at it. So yeah, I'm sorry that Aunt Marcia has left us. Val said when we talked a while ago this afternoon that even though Aunt Marcia was not blood that Val could see her spark and fire in me. I cried a little after we hung up because I want that so much to be true. I'm not sure what I'm feeling now, but I know part of me is sad. While I'm never alone, I have to admit that I'm a bit lonely tonight.

What is love? I know it when I see it. You know the story of Lot's wife, right. Well, as Vonnegut says he's glad Lot's wife turned around because it was so human. I love Lot's wife for looking back. How can we not look upon the ones that we know and know that they are dying? Even so, we can rejoice in their lives. It is sometimes hard to see this through the tears.

I know that Val is the one for me because after spending just a brief amount of time with Aunt Marcia and me Val knows that I want to be like Aunt Marcia. I will be.

There is a lot of food talk today. First of all, the girls make us a cake a week. This week is an apple pie type thing. It was delicious. Where we usually take about a week to eat one of the cakes, but this one has lasted two days.

Then on Shabbat we always have a pita sandwich or two for both lunch and dinner. I have two. This is a soft, goat cheese with tomato and chicken pita sandwich. I put some spicy stuff on it to liven it up, and it is delicious. Two for me, please.

Then I went for a walk in the heat of the day. I wanted to go back to where we went this morning so that I could carve into the side of the gully. It was a gorgeous day; the sun was high and bright and the sky was blue. It really was a remarkable day. Every time I see how pretty it is outside I'm reminded of how pretty we have it in FL with the sun, foliage, and water. I'm appreciating more and more where I live.

So I found a wall that I wanted to carve into. As you can imagine it was my Aunt that stayed on my mind. So I made an Aunt Marcia. She is not a great likeness because the dirt is filled with insect nests. So large parts of the dirt kept falling off. Still, it was with a powerful Aunt Marcia in mind that I made this low relief sculpture. I feel better for it because I got to reflect for a couple of hours on my time with her. I'll go back and make more reliefs there because it is so inviting, but I had to stop when I did because it was just enough.

Then it was off to Cavé Ezuz for the sunset. And it was a grand one tonight. The owner of the place even remarked on its beauty. As I was sitting and watching the sun sink down below the horizon the cafe's dog was cleaning up after two families left their table. This is a really cute dog, and now I think that he is even cuter.

So the sun sets, just as the sun does. And I'm still sad and lonely. But just as the dusk does, so too will my melancholy mood set to bring on the night. I will dream of the power and fortitude that Aunt Marcia has, and I will will it into me.

Good night Aunt Marcia.