Day 51: The longest day and sweetest dreams.

But not that great war movie with a fantastic opening.

I was once told by a therapist that I should not watch war movies. Sometimes when watching a movie about contemporary battles in desert settings I really do get creeped out and confused about time and space. But with older war movies I'm not moved in that way. I just don't have the experience of fighting in hedges in Germany or France. But maybe I can come closer to knowing peace if I give up all war movies? I doubt it, though.

I came to the conclusion that I was made to fight. Not necessarily with my fists and feet, although I do love that, but in life on a more conceptual and spiritual level. I'm at my most creative when I'm struggling in life. That struggle is usually with myself, and can manifest through drinking or other vices. But the struggle is important to my growth. I have learned, though, that I must temper my struggle or burn out like so many others that may create in similar ways.

I've never been closer to a human being than when I'm fighting or intimately involved, you know, wink, wink. I remember one time when I just got out of the army and was staying with my parents until I got settled. There was a trainer upstairs that was blond and cute, and my mom introduced me to her. We hit it off and then really hit it off. I remember my mom asking, "Can't you just date them?" Well yeah. But how cursory and perfunctory is a dating relationship, really? If you're going to kiss a person you have to know them pretty well.

The same goes with fighting--not the kissing part, which would lead to fighting, anyway. Once you look in another's eyes and punch them right in the face you know them. All pretenses go out of the window. And they know you, too. Souls are laid bare when flesh collides.



So I'm in Jerusalem. I got here just after 1100. My day started at 0445, so I was rough when I finally checked in at 1400. I had a long nap and went out.

It was amazing taking the train here, and I'm so glad that I did. We had to go through the mountains to get here, and seeing the city grow from the mountains was a beautiful sight.

There were even ruins that could be seen from the train.

Then I got here. I could not check in until 2, so I dropped my bags and left. After all of the hiking in the Negev Desert there was no way I was going to sit around Jerusalem, where walking is nothing near as rugged as the desert mountains.

I had a plan that tomorrow I would walk around Nachlaot, but once I started walking my feet took me there. It is one of the oldest neighborhoods in western Jerusalem. The place is mainly Orthodox Jews, of which I don't look like one. And as soon as I walked in I passed two guys who gave me questioning looks. But I belong there, too, damn it. As I passed them I heard one say to the other he's probably America, maybe Irish.



The neighborhood was so interesting. I just kept walking turning this way or that; I've no fear of getting lost. I was given this gift a long time ago, and I rely on my instincts a lot when in places I don't know. It amazes people sometimes, like Val, who gets lost going from the kitchen to the bedroom sometimes, bless her soul.

So I just kept going and going and going. I walked past so much interesting architecture and so many interesting places. And the people, well they were interesting too. There was a group of soldiers having lunch in "the field." There were lots of old dudes, too. They stared. There were young girls, who stared a bit less. But there were no middle aged women. Weird.

I turned a corner and across the street I saw this market. Well you know I had to go there. They sold every fruit and vegetable that I know and many that I could not identify. It is nice to be reminded that I know much about nothing.

I had to stop and get a smoothie because I was both thirsty and hungry. I hadn't yet worked up the courage to try to get something to eat. At the smoothie place I could identify some of the fruits' names in Hebrew thanks to my two months at the organic farm. So I ordered the melon smoothie. I was asked in Hebrew if I wanted goat or cow's milk, and, again, I tended the goats so I knew that word. I paid the three extra shekels for goat's milk.



Then I was done. Really done. I got back to the hostel a bit before two and begged to be let in. The girl saw that I was done and let me. I'm in the swankiest hostel I've ever been in. Who gets a bed like this in a hostel?

Plus there is a rooftop terrace with a garden and lots of seating and bedding. The view from up there is amazing, as the building overlooks where Jaffa and Ben Yahudu streets come together. It is a happening spot in the city center. Just amazing.

So I napped. I was down for about an hour and a half. But then I was so very hungry because I hadn't eaten since this morning, not counting my goat-milk smoothie. But I've still not worked up the courage to go into an Israeli place to order. So I walked around and looked at a bunch of restaurants without making a decision. I came upon this homeless dude who was yelling at any Arab that passed by. The entire situation was sad. A group of Arab youths was sitting near him and he let them have it. I had no idea how to implement justice there. Why is he homeless and deranged and why are these Arab children so bad?

Oddly enough a Pride Parade went by.

A dude was also watching, and he was as dismayed as I was. I noticed him seeing me and he asked in Hebrew if I preferred English or Hebrew. I said that I spoke English very well. We talked about the situation a bit, and we talked about one another. He comes from Boca Raton, FL, but now lives here in Jerusalem. He is a floral designer, and now that I think back to the conversation and the bright pink shirt I was wearing I think that I almost had a date.

But I got a veggie burger instead.

I don't know when the last time I had french fries was--or a burger for that matter! They must have known how hungry I was because they put two patties on it. The whole meal was under $15, so WooHoo! I'll be eatin' good.

After all of that I had to go rest again. But I went back out there because I was revved back up. I don't really think I needed that second helping of french fries, though. I do think I will be paying for them at some point because going from organic fruits and vegetables to french fries just doesn't seem like the best option. I think I'm fat again!

I did find a vegetarian restaurant that I will try tomorrow if I'm in that area. The night life here is incredibly vibrant. There are street performers everywhere, and the people watching is the best I've had since, well at least before since Ezuz in the middle of the desert. I watched a violin player play for over thirty minutes. He had some loop going with Israeli music and he was just playing along. It was amazing!

I was walking around lamenting the french fries that I had just eaten and came upon this free concert. What a treat! The first song that I heard was in Hebrew, and there were belly dancers to accompany it. Then there was a Spanish song with flamenco dancers. Then the music moved back and forth between Mediterranean and Spanish with way too many dancers moving in loving ways--just beautiful. I'll have sweet dreams tonight, for sure!